by Jeremy Griffith
Well fellow conservatives and libertarians, it seems that with the re-election of The One, Barack H. Obama, the Zombie Apocalypse we all dreaded is here. First the O zombies flooded the polls to get the free stuff, next they’ll be knocking on your doors and trying to eat your brains.
It looks like Romney’s candid admission to supporters that was taped by an Obama goon and put up on the Internet was a fair assessment of the facts. The country is at a place now where there are more takers than makers and the takers want their stuff now. Move over Greece, we are on our way to the National Bread and Free Stuff Bankruptcy line.
The difference between us and Greece is that people like Greece. They’ve got those cute old ruins and stuff and they’re a great vacation spot. People don’t like America too much anymore. That’s why when Obama tries to bail out America; nobody will come to our rescue the way they did Greece. We are at the tipping point and now that Obama is reinstalled, it will be harder than ever to remove the hard-core progressive left.
Difficult, but not impossible. Romney wasn’t a bad campaigner; he actually did very well, capturing half of the popular vote and a good portion of the Electoral College. It wasn’t a blow out for Obama. The Obama campaign wasn’t a great campaign, what with the wilting President at the debates and the Human Gaffe Machine Joe Biden, it wasn’t all that impressive. What we need to over come this barrier is a great conservative, like Ronald Reagan, not a so so conservative like Romney. We need charisma and poise to overcome the cult of personality of the progressive left. And we have to abandon the national media as a tool, (literally the media are a bunch of tools) of the left. We have to create our own media, through the blogs and talk radio.
Thankfully enough Americans showed up to the polls to at least increase the lead in the House of Representatives. But with a majority in the Senate and with the Executive Branch, the President doesn’t need a mandate or the support of congress. He has shown his willingness to rule by executive order and auto-pen. (That auto-pen is great, it allows Barack to go golfing all day and lets Valerie Jarrett make all the decisions by proxy.)
I’m pretty disappointed with my own state of Minnesota. We have a democratic governor and both houses went to the dogs, uh dems. (I have to get out of this state!) We are already taxed enough and now I’m sure Governor Dayton and his cronies will go to town, hiking up taxes and spending like mad. Ugh.
As more and more states like Minnesota and California spend like gamblers at a casino and eventually go broke, citizens will vote with their feet and move to the red states like I plan to to get out from under the thumb of the Zombie campaign. Progressives won’t understand why those states are doing better while their states and cities fall into oblivion. They’ll do everything they can to try to prevent people from leaving and their failed programs and cities will fall into decay. Too bad lefty loons. You get what you vote for.
In the meantime, watch out for progressive plans to take away our freedom: fairness doctrine to control the Internet and talk radio is a great example. They will try to shut us down. We mustn’t let them. Gun control will inneviably follow, so buy your guns and ammo today.
As bad as it will be in the next few years, I predict it will not be as bad as it was in the Revolution. Those patriots crossed frozen rivers without shoes in mid winter to do battle with the Hessians, AND THEY WON! It will be dark for a while, but the dawn will come and Patriotic Americans will need to do the heavy lifting to make sure they are ready when that day will come. God will give us the leader we need eventually. For now we have to accept that we live in exile amongst the Babylonians. It sucks. But morning is coming. Grab your guns, go to church with your friends, start a blog, be happy and not bitter.
In the meantime, a 12-guage shot gun is still the best home defense against a Zombie home invasion. See you at the gun store or out in the blogosphere. We aren’t finished yet.
ps, watch this funny video from Glove and Boots on the best way to deal with zombies, and have a good laugh.
Also, here is a cute column about zombies, by Stephanie.